thelesbiandatingbook.com
Lesbian dating Survey for Single Lesbians and Single Bisexual Women by Ellen Holland, MSW and Michele O'Mara, LCSW The following questions have been devised by Ellen Holland, MSW and Michele O'Mara, LCSW in an effort to gather real data from real lesbians, and bisexual women, about dating. It's not an easy task to make sense of the world of lesbian dating, but somebody's got to do it, right? All survey responses are anonymous. We do not request email addresses, and we receive the forms without a return address so that your identity will remain 100% anonymous to us and everyone else. Please be honest. The results will not be meaningful otherwise. Enjoy the questions! *must be age 18 or older to complete*
Lesbian dating Survey
for Single Lesbians and Single Bisexual Women
by Ellen Holland, MSW and Michele O'Mara, LCSW
The following questions have been devised by Ellen Holland, MSW and Michele O'Mara, LCSW in an effort to gather real data from real lesbians, and bisexual women, about dating. It's not an easy task to make sense of the world of lesbian dating, but somebody's got to do it, right?
All survey responses are anonymous. We do not request email addresses, and we receive the forms without a return address so that your identity will remain 100% anonymous to us and everyone else. Please be honest. The results will not be meaningful otherwise. Enjoy the questions!
*must be age 18 or older to complete*
City/State Your Age Race/ethnicity
Religion Occupation
# children you have? # cats do you have? # dogs do you have?
Highest Ed Level: High School Some College Bachelors Masters Doctorate
RELATIONSHIP STATUS (check all that apply)
Single and looking
Single and NOT
looking
Heartbroken
Widowed
Partnered and Looking
Dating /Monogamous
Dating Around
Committed
Unfaithfully committed
Married to man,
monogamous with
another woman
Polyamorous relationship
Never dated and want to
Married to man, dating
women
Other
If none of the above, explain:
Which describes you? (Though we're not fans of labels, we are curious if you self-identify as any of these - check all, if any, that apply)
Lesbian
Nerd
Top
Artist
Drinker
Heterosexual
Lipstick lesbian
Player
Normal
Wants children
Bisexual
Earthy
Professional
Monogamous
Doesn't want children
Without children
Bi-curious
Sporty
Butch
Transgender
Feminine
Old school
Loner
Non smoker
Smoker
Rides motorcycles
Spiritual
Religious
Tattoos/piercing
Good grammar
Wears Birkenstocks
Wears heels
Heterosexually married
Heterosexually divorced
Out
Closeted
Musician
Athlete
Funny
Passive
Serious
Assertive
Creative
Romantic
Intelligent
Barfly
Likes pets
Has pets
Dyke
Masculine
Activist
No lesbian experience
Doesn't want/have pets
Queer
Androgynous (not masculine,
not feminine)
Feminist
Vegetarian
Soft butch
Bottom
Drama queen
Lesbian mom
Non drinker
Talkative
Driven/Motivated
Predictable
Honest
Wear deodorants/perfumes
Doesn't Wear
deodorants/perfumes
Tall
Short
Average height
Plus size
Average size
Petite
Nice legs
Nice smile
Nice hands
Nice derrière
Pretty face
Nice eyes
Short hair
Average length hair
Long hair
Doesn't shave legs/pits
Shave legs/pits
Physically fit
Fashion conscious
Good hygiene
Good dental care/teeth
Comfortable in a dress
Any additional labels you identify with that are not listed?
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
Lesbian Bisexual Bi-curious I'm not gay, I just love my partner Confused No labels, please
What does dating mean to you?
Check all of the following that you prefer in a potential partner. Anything that doesn't apply, or doesn't matter to you, leave blank.
Wear Birkenstocks
Androgynous (not
masculine, not feminine)
Drama-queen
Driven/motivated
Doesn't wear
Other preferred characteristics of your potential partner that are not listed?
Check all of the following that are ESSENTIAL to you or that you MUST HAVE in a potential partner.
Doesn't want or have pets
Soft Butch
Other MUST HAVE characteristics of your potential partner that are not listed?
Dating Efforts
Do you flirt?
Yes, often Yes, occasionally No, not really Only if interested in someone I don't know if I flirt or not
What is flirting?
What has been most difficult, if anything about asking someone out?
If you meet someone and she is in a relationship, is it okay to pursue her?
Yes No Depends on Circumstances
If you are interested in someone are you willing to initiate or ask her out?
Are there signs of interest you must see before asking someone out?
Yes No, If I'm interested I ask
How would you describe your experience meeting other single lesbians?
It's Easy It's somewhat easy It's Somewhat difficult It's difficult I haven't met any other lesbians yet
Check all of the steps have you taken to find potential women to date?
None
Making my sexual orientation known around women
I'm interested in dating
Noticing women that interest me
Asking others to introduce me
Going on blind dates
Going to lesbian friendly bookstores
Visiting lesbian vacation spots, lesbian cruises, or other
lesbian travel adventures
Attending church
Attending sporting events
Playing/Watching organized recreational sports (i.e.
softball, basketball, golf, volleyball)
Attending potlucks, game nights, book clubs and other
lesbian-specific social activities
Joining GLBT professional groups and associations
Registering for online dating service
Attending lesbian single's functions
Reading/responding to personals
Attending school, classes, hobbies, clubs, etc
Volunteer with gay friendly organizations
Involve self with GLBT advocacy organizations and activities
Attending gay/lesbian friend's parties
Joining fitness center
Self-help groups
Dating History
How many woman, total, have you dated in your life?
How long ago did you begin dating women? Yrs and Mo's
What is your longest period of time, single, between women? Yrs and Mo's
What is your longest term relationship? Yrs and Mo's
What is the best part of dating?
What is the worst part of dating?
Dating
What would you say are the top five ways/places to meet single lesbians?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Coffee date
Share a meal
A walk
Cooking for your date
Religious service
Self-help meeting
Drinks
Sporting event
A party
Activity with lots of
people
Rent movie/carry-out
Meet up with friends
Working out
Going shopping/mall
Watch TV show
Political event
Movie Theatre
Bowling
Play/Concert/Live
entertainment
Queer event - march,
pride, etc.
Other first-date activities you might recommend?
Describe the best date you've been on.
What made it so good?
Conversation
Eye contact
First Date
Energy/Connection
Fun/Humor
Spontaneity
The activity/event of our
date
She wanted to see me
again
Seemed she liked me
I liked her
Our kiss
Sex
Her personality
Describe the worst date you've been on.
What made it so bad?
Energy/connection
Fun/humor
Meeting available
Women
Expense of dating
Gossip/rumors/reputations
Fear of rejection
Fear of being seen on
No one asks me out
Leaving my pets at home
I'm not out
Knowing the difference
between getting to know
a new friend and "is
this a date?"
Have you ever been out with another woman and wondered is this a date? Yes No
Do you believe you have one soul mate? Yes No