Greetings!

Welcome to the second edition of Fitness of Mind and Spirit! Thank you to everyone who shared with me their appreciation for the February 2003 Newsletter. Special greetings to all new readers! You can look forward to monthly information that encourages and challenges you to be your personal best, while offering you tools and information to move you closer to your goals. This month you will be introduced to some old concepts developed by Carl Jung, late psychiatrist, and that have been made new by contemporary writers and theorists such as Debbie Ford and Harville Hendrix. I anticipate that some of you may find yourself experiencing a strong negative reaction to some of these concepts, and respond with skepticism. It is you to whom I write today.

PURSUIT OF WHOLENESS   The educated man tries to repress the inferior man in himself, not realizing that by so doing he forces the latter into revolt. - Carl Jung Original Wholeness According to late psychiatrist, Carl Jung, when we enter the world we are emotionally healthy and whole. Over time, our wholeness surrenders to our desire to be good, to be liked, to be accepted and to be safe. We slowly internalize messages from our environment, including family, friends, institutions, and society at large, that begin to give shape to a new, edited version of our original, whole self. Eventually our wholeness transforms into what we perceive to be "goodness." Do you remember feeling "different" early in your life because you were attracted to someone of the same gender, or because you desired to be the other gender? Was your initial reaction to explore and embrace this difference? For most the answer is an emphatic "uh... NO!" Whether the messages are direct or indirect, it seems the outcome is the same. We are taught that it is not okay to feel the way we do. We begin to consider that parts of who we are are "bad." Eventually, our trust in our self is compromised because we feel betrayed by our own feelings, believing that how we feel is unacceptable. The door to our sexual orientation or gender orientation is only one of many doors we may have shut in our lives because of this process. The notion that we are born whole and over time we disown parts of who we are because we learn that these characteristics are unacceptable is an old Jungian concept, made popular more recently by the work of Debbie Ford. Ford is author of Dark Side of The Light Chasersin which she suggests that as we begin to learn from others what is not acceptable, we slowly close the doors to parts of our self that we believe are wrong, or bad. We hide these parts of our self from the rest of the world, and from our self, denying that we are "that." We hide in shame, the parts of our self that we believe are "bad" or "wrong" or "unacceptable." We divide our self into many pieces, hiding from others (and eventually from our self) those characteristics that we do not like and find unacceptable. Eventually, our original wholeness becomes a hostage to our desire for goodness.   Click Here For Full Article... »

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ASK MICHELE If you have a question you would like Michele to address in next month's newsletter, send it to her at: omaram@aol.com Q My partner and I have only known each other for 2 weeks and we have already said "I love you." Is it possible to be in love this quickly? ~ Curious in Indy A Your status of "in love," or not, is certainly not for anyone to decide but you and you partner! An interesting phenomena to be aware of, however, is that on occasion nature does play tricks with us. There is a naturally-produced substance in our bodies called Phenylethylamine (PEA) which is considered a "love drug." This chemical is released when we begin to experience an attraction to someone. The effect of this chemical in our bodies is to heighten all of our senses so that the pleasures we experience are greater than they are during times the PEA is not present. What is sometimes deceiving is that we commonly associate this heightened sense of pleasure with love. PEA is generally produced for 3-6 months during initial courtship, afterwhich time production begins to diminish. Many couples find that it is in their third to sixth month that they begin to place more emphasis on their differences, causing the "honeymoon" feeling to subside. This is normal. Sometimes we do not know whether or not we were "really in love" until many months after the feelings first arrive. My hope for you is that you are! For more about relationships... »

Women's Group Every Tuesday from 6:30-8pm an amazing group of women gather in my office for support, education, and a place to talk more deeply about the issues that are important in their lives. If you are interested in being a part of the group, please inquire about available seats at: omaram@aol.com.

Please feel free to share this newsletter with your friends or family by simply clicking "forward email" at the bottom of this page. Thank you for reading FOMAS, and stay tuned for more next month!

Warmest Regards,

Michele O'Mara, LCSW
O'Mara Counseling & Life Coaching