Our relationships develop in a context over which we have tremendous influence. Who do you spend time with? How do they value or treat your relationship? How do they approach their own relationships? What is their understanding of your commitment to your relationship and how do they support or sabotage it?

Our relationship will grow or atrophy according to the environment in which we require it to exist. Is your relationship visible? Do people know it exists? Are those people supportive of your relationship? Do you protect your relationship from forces that don't support it? How? Are you choosing your relationship above other people, places and things?

This week I encourage you to discuss these questions with your partner:

1. Who do you spend your time with?
2. How do these people treat or value your relationship?
3. How do these people treat or value their own relationship?
4. What is their understanding of your commitment to your relationship and how do they support or sabotage it?
5. Is your relationship visible?
6. Who, if anyone, holds you accountable to a successful relationship?
7. Do you protect your relationship from forces that don't support it?
8. Are you choosing your relationship above other people, places and things?
9. What can you do today to create a better enviornment for your realationship to grow?
10. Who is your greatest relationship supporter?

Hopefully these questions will trigger discussion that leads to a more conscious examination of how well you surround yourselves and consequently your relationship. Find supporters and those who hold you accountable to one another and your love.

Ask Me! is a book of fun, serious, quirky, and down right direct questions designed for all couples who are interested in deepening your connection, experiencing meaningful discussions, learning more about one another, and having fun!

To learn more about bringing me to your organization visit my Healthy Gay and Lesbian Relationships website at: OUTstandingcouples.com.

In July I will be joining the Annual Kinship Gathering in Orlando, Florida and in October I am headed to Norfolk, Virginia to be with the folks at New Life MCC. I also hope to stop in at Lambda Rising Bookstore while I'm in town for a short talk and book signing. And I plan to be in Minneapolis, Minnesotta in November this year. If you have friends in these cities, I hope you'll send them to my workshops! Contact me for information about how to bring me to your city or organization.